爱自己多一点

出国以后 发现 一辈子友谊 是不可能的
曾以真心对待的 换来一次次的敷衍
真心留给自己就好
自己不疼惜自己 就没人疼惜了

无

我毕业了 你懂吗?
我交男朋友了 你知道吗?
我结婚了 你祝福吗?

我'走'了 你来看我吗?

位置

翻看着大家一张张的照片
发现
原来
距离远了
多远?
照片上没了自己
一问三不知
远么? 远!

曾经以为不会留在不属于自己的地方
突然发现本来的位置已经消失
那片陌生的土地开始留着自己的足迹
或许说被留下了脚印
也或许被接纳成为她们的一份子

所有的痕迹经过时间的洗礼
风雨的无情
变得一无所有
曾经的你 我 已不在
留恋些啥?
留恋? 能吃么?
留不住 带不走。。。

My senior

The only thing I proud of is when I asked ppl to guess my age and then I told them I same age as tkc..hahhaha definitely they got shocked...
When I asked my juniors to guess tkc ' s age and their answers really make my day. When they said tkc look like 27 and I look like 19 ,and I told them me and tck same age,they gave me that 'huh' face,Hahahha. .my cute juniors~~
 Tkc my senior but we same age.
He really smart , NUS engineering student, work as a partime engineer , he rich can said that he is富2代，he played dizi very well;once champion in dizi open category in malaysia, he is full marathon runner,he can play badminton well ,his body figure not bad at least he got abs ,he is good temper man, he is a good brother BUT not a good senior!
His joke not funny ,he don't really communicate with junior ,he don't care whether junior can follow the tempo or can play the song... coz he never ask us before whether we can follow or not even encourage us... so big different from others senior. Cannot blame me y I don't like him everytime I saw him during combined. When everybody said he is a nice person ,I don't really agree. I gave them example, if u play badminton with tkc, he will make u keep running here and thr or pick up the badminton; but if u play with koen,u still have the chance of hitting the badminton at least u won't be the one who pick the ball,coz koen is a very nice person  in taking care of everyone especially his juniors.
in a nutshell, I think tkc is quite selfish.
I m So sorry to tck, coz he do nothing but I really really don't like him，看到他我会自动回避他，不然我会越来越讨厌他。

Billboard Rockx concert

有幸站在这个新加坡国际大舞台Concert hall of Esplanade on the bay表演~我人生中参加的第一场售票演奏会and tickets all sold out.~~
国际舞台就是特别不一样 那个设计是要把台上的声音都project到观众席的每个角落 而台上我们听不到自己的声音也听不到旁边的人吹奏乐器的声音，挺特别的~

这个演奏会花我不少时间练习。每天5。30起来上学 6点放学直接赶去练习到晚上10。30 回到宿舍半夜12。30。考试没有足够的时间温习功课，bobeee考试不要不及格!
讲真的，很谢谢所有的senior~~
每次练习他们不出现的时候 我特别忐忑害怕。有时他们工作很忙 为了guide我 还是赶来练习了。
Jinli陪我练到快发脾气了~~
cheryl每次都会跟我讲不要怕~~不会的就小声点。。。哈哈哈
Jinyee就特别提醒我那些细节的部分~~
特别是koen,大哥哥样。每次都会问我哪里不行 然候教我。果然跟国川是不一样的 Koen 实在是好太多了~~~
大家都把我当小孩一样疼，koen一直以为我还很小。好想跟他讲我其实跟张国川先生同年啊~~
还有irene~ 我最爱的senior 特地从sdyney赶回来~~~
终于我们同台演出了~~看到她心情特别好，笛子也吹得特别顺~~呵呵呵呵
练习的时候 特别是I don't wanna miss a thing这首 ，老师讲要练的时候 我就会不知觉发抖 抖到笛子拿不起来。谁叫笛子在这首歌是主旋律的担当呢。。。
每天练习都要被老师抓到我吹错，别人都已经麻木了，那天没被抓的时候还要被Aaron讲"今天老师好像没有抓你hor?!" 需要讲那么明么?
 再来就是我最害怕的郑老师。。。老师突然对我很好。好到我不会形容。我病了 居然叫我回家休息 叫我去吃饭不要饿肚子，还摸摸我的头。。。很想跟老师讲"老师 ,你这样 我会很害怕" 哈哈哈哈哈 我只能说 老师已经认得我，以后的练习都跑不掉了!
忙过头不是件好事，我连续病了1个星期。还要传染给别人。大部分的junior跟senior都中招。实在不好意思 练习室太小 人太多 每次练习都坐得亲亲密密 能不被传染么? 只有乃哥 这种少根筋的人才没被传染。

表演实在花了我很多钱。什么摇滚主题，皮夹克 皮裙跟boots ，都不便宜。挺心痛的，除了表演 平时都穿不到这些衣服。 鞋子还千挑万挑 挑便宜又要好看的 结果搞到表演前一晚才买到。果然穿了不习惯 脚痛死了，脚指头黑青了吶!
表演前一晚2点才睡 是太兴奋? 应该吧!
 在台上full run时，koen完全不在状态内，病了 前一晚还是night shift放工后直接赶过来表演，挺可怜的。表演前2天还信誓旦旦的说 我的病不会传染给他。果然 人不可以太铁齿。
在台上表演 听到台下的掌声尖叫声 突然觉得那些牺牲的睡眠跟时间是值得的。换来的不只是满足感 还有大家更要好的感情 而且我学到不少音乐上的知识~~
结果现在感情太好，每天不见面 没练习就会感觉怪怪的。中了传说中的COWS (chinese ochestra withdrawal syndrome ).
没关系 很快又会有下一场concert咯~~

穷。滋味

看看这些。奢侈的可以。

那种过着每分钱都必须计较的日子，
这房子也只能看看。

打死也要嫁个有钱人!
也就只能嫁个有钱人 。 😧

It's Cool !

We use :
Heart - cardiac
Heart muscle- myocardium
heart pump- myocardial contraction
Kidney - renal
stomach /=abdomen
Pass urine- urine output
Bangsai - bowel open
pass lots of urine- polyuria
BD-Twice a day
Q4H- 4 hrly
PRN - when necessary
HTN - Hypertension
HLD -Hyperlipideamia (means high cholesterol)
DM- diabetic mellitus
PO- by mouth (per oral)
PR- through rectal (per rectal)
C- chronic
A - acute

GTN is not blood thinning drug but -is for vasodilation
Aspirin have many indication but it's too danger
Stroke -myocardial infarction
CCB no longer Chow Chi Bai but is- calcium channel blocker
We know: having water retention(pitting edema) not because u drink too much of water but  is most probably u have heart disease and renal dysfunction.

泛泛之交

话说回来，我生日当天，悄悄的进行了一个实验，叫'还记得我吗?'
实验是这样的:
生日的前一天把fb deactivate了。
接着，当然咯，所谓的祝福语跟着 fb一起被忽略掉

好吧!
记得我生日真的很谢谢你们，特别是wf,用手机sms，谢谢你!!
至于其他在我reactive fb的时候来露露脸的，也谢哈!
不记得的，我也谢谢你们，我知道以后要怎么做了。

我决定把我脑容量清一清，腾出空位记住病人的资料。
虽然我以后的生辰都会在医院过，但是比起记得一些不记得你的人，我始终觉得在医院陪病人哭哭笑笑会更有意义。

要说我死脑筋，心理变态 还是什么更难听的话 随便你们。自己不对自己好就没人会对你好，即使是朋友也一样。

Manic

天啊。。。他一整个早上都在线上。
今天是他的off day吗?

Dysthymia-ing

我爱讲话，没错。
但是，也会有累的时候。
难道，你就不能主动点么?
见面却没有共同的话题，你并不能怪谁。

'嗯' '啊' '哦' 是我给你最好的回答。
聋哑人士这角色就暂时换我来演吧。

心情

每天不停的滑手机就为了等着某人上线
即使没交集，看着也绿灯亮着也知足。

我想改观

原来。。。。TKC是这样的人!!!
我对他彻底的改观!!!
啊就昨天小组练习的时候，聊着聊着就聊到男生看A片。
然后，TKC很大方就回答我的问题，一班男生一起看A片会不会很awkward他不知道因为他都习惯一个人看 =.=
瞬间，我无言。虽然是我发问的，啊也不用回答得那么爽快嘛，害我直接无语!!
然后咧，那个jz更过份!!就看他在那边跟TKC聊天边上下摇TKC的水壶。我就嘴角往上仰的看他们聊天。
死jz! 讲什么懂我在笑什么，什么看到他摇水壶想些不该想的东西!!鸡蛋!他在摇水壶的时候我脑袋是空的!
结果TKC也是头脑肮脏，看到JZ的动作就马上笑出来。还好我最后接到他们的线，原来JZ的动作像是在打飞机。==
他们2个还真的不是普通的色。JZ和TKC聊天的时候讲到什么early bird的。然后我听到直接看着JZ,没别的意思，只是在想early bird的华语怎么讲。鸡蛋糕JZ,直接讲我头脑肮脏，王八蛋TKC跟着JZ一起起哄。半响，我才知道他们又把'early bird' link 去'小鸟' !!
哎哟! 虽然一开始那种不要脸的问题是我先开口问，但是也不用酱的，一听到跟'色' 沾上边的话题就一脸猥亵看着我笑!!!
我很无辜jek!!!
TKC那个好好先生的形像彻底的被他自己毁掉

其实我知道

Ytd we just went to Chinatown sing k...and ya sure it's fun...
This specially plan for irene coz she will fly back to sdyney next wk ...
But ...
Thanks to koen , naizheng and kok chuan. They belanja us sing k . If they dint pay for us,one person need to pay ard s$13. And so much thankiu to them , save my 13 dollars .
 I knew it !
Just becoz I didn't hold the mic , they think it's unfair to ask me pay as equal as they pay. But then I did sing what! I mean without mic in hand. /•\
They pick the songs that I don't really know like english songs and I almost one yr dint listen songs...They asked what I usually listen to, ermm....I listen musics like Richard clyademan , yiruma , symphonic ochestra musics and all those tvb back grd musics.

I know nai zheng a bit 不爽, he not rich and need to pay for us. I m So sorry! >. <
And I just promise nai zheng I won't go to sing k with them again....
可怜的我。。。

Just used to it

In the 'must buy ' list of a singaporean who travel to Malaysia is ---- chewing gum
Hey! Keep calm ... It just a chewing gum that make my childhood memorable.
I still Rmb, hmmmmm. .... "eating"chewing gum secretly with friends when having tuition which teacher not allow us to do. But how dare were we, after chewed we just spilt it at the basin or toilet bowl making it became block.. hahhaha...Water can't flush down . lol. ..
childhood experience really different from singaporean...

嗯

消失中。。。

20××年，我只存在于我的世界里。
'你发生什么事了' 关心吗?
不! 怎么会连我到底怎么了都不晓得呢?
呵呵! 是何其讽刺吖。

小鸟依然在空中盘旋着。
肚子抗议的时候最先想到的还是厕所。
世界还是想象中的'美好'
人类仍然那么自私，
地球并没有停止转动。。。

心声的表达

FUCK!

前世。仇

其实，明明人家就没有怎样。

"哎呀，不用怕啦!他脾气很好的!"
"我没有看过他发脾气。"
"他不会无缘无故骂你的，不用担心。"
"你是第一个讲他不好的叻!"

大家所谓的好脾气，善意，我感觉不到。
好脾气?他只是忍着不发脾气。
善意?我感觉到敌意。
无奈?他完全表现在脸上。

我真的真的不喜欢他!
可是人家也没骂我还是干些什么的说。
所以嘛，我们前世应该有仇;
今世再次遇见完全是孽缘啊。。。

名 。字

第一次的感动。害怕。紧张。

annual concert

Because of this concert, I spent lots of time to prac dizi. Seriously, I don't know why those alumnus cannot encourage us.i know I went back to Malaysia make them not happy coz really skipped one week practice. But then why they just can't don't understand?! Yr family here with you,but mine different!
Anyway, I waste my holiday for this concert.
Hope I won't make mistakes again in concert.
And ya, although I don't like kok chuan, still need to thanks him didn't tease me when I blow wrong or can't follow the tempo and also the 'hello panda'.

warming....

Thank you ♡
Irene is now having exam  , should be very busy now.
And also pei wen. I think is pei wen inform irene about my problem...
How lovely they are~

mentally ill

Again and again. qinyi , yanan and ging poh want to quit CO.
Seriously, it's really stress. But I just want to stay at CO maybe because of Irene and pei wen or might due to super EX dizi which I already bought 2 or even the time that I spent to learn dizi....thr are many many reason ....
Don't and never ever think that nursing student is very free...study different module and 3 weeks attachment for every 3 months...
I do feel like I developing  the bipolar disorder .
I messed up everything, my study , my assignment ,my dizi, my time....
I found the sounds and voice surrounding is super irritating...when ppl laughing , I feel like wanted to stab their face!
And finally, I cried ! The determination of my 2013 dizi peeps make everything goes worst!  When my tears burst out ,My ex- SL, JINLI treat me like a small kids instead she is more younger than me! She feel that I am younger than her =.= should I feel happy.Even Terry Lim also called me小妹!
But they really give lots of support!
Thanks them so much!!!!
And also my yr 1 junior ah boy, jia zhen...This ah boy ...I shouldn't called him as my junior, he got his diploma in dizi when he was 15 yrs old!!!!

But  anyway, MOST of the dizi seniors is 好人.

loveliness 💞

Today my CCA began with some unhappy stuff...
Make my interest towards dizi keep dropping due to the teacher...
Stay at sg for one yr and learn the way they survive ...complaints.
I do 'complaint ' to irene and pei wen....
But luckily this 'complaint' from me does really chase my bad mood away....

This shows how I feel the love
And make me feel that sometimes friends that know u for longer time can't really do that...
Irene and pei wen show how should 'friends' look like...and yet I m from malaysia staying at sg now and peiwen from sg Irene from hongkong but sg PR but now at sdyney ,qinyi and yanan from china.
All of them are lovely...

busy life

Do always back to school do practising directly after go off from hospital.
It's really super tired, especially the next day is morning shift.
Anyway I still enjoy both the posting and practising dizi. Nice staff at ward 3 and cute Co peeps accompany me practice until late at night....
I m going to enjoy my 3 yrs study life in singapore very much.....

陶醉。华乐

有时候老师的确是蛮帅的。

看到老师一脸陶醉样

突然想去学二胡。。。

不过。。。。

笛子也是很不错的。

两位很强的senior cum alumni...

这首 dream on you本来就很好听

被nypco演绎过后更加听上瘾。

刚拿到这首歌的谱 就知道笛子不是玩主音

看了video才知道原来是老师solo.

要等这个video upload 去youtube要等很久，

所以就事先'拿'来欣赏,

怎知道一听就无法自拔。。。

周末'日记

读书，就只是读书，没别的意思。

也不全然只为了读书，也是因为不甘愿。。。

不甘愿些什么吖?

对，就这个!

那个傻瓜 C+ 溜了出来。

我必须让它给滚回去。

LoL

Hello!
I' m only 21 yrs and 8 months old hor!
old? No! Is 21 yrs and 8 months young.
those aunty and uncle said I m 18
And those young ppl said I m 30
Okay! The aunty and uncles I agree will u all.
But those young ppl, wats wrong with u all.
hey, come on! U guys have to get a better doctor to check ur eyes

事态严重

虽然我不是他们那一掛的，但是从这次足以在历史上留下难以磨灭的事件看到残酷的事实。
这种情况在马来西亚也是第1次发生。为什么就不能体谅一下呢? 那种惊慌失措 手忙脚乱的感觉。
别以为政府真的不紧张，毕竟这种意外史无前例，应急的方法没办法参考别人。
不只是把自家飞机弄丢了，连同自家孩子和别人家的孩子一同弄不见。换成是你，会害怕吗?
要给别人一个交代的同时还要临危不乱的面对嘴巴犀利的媒体记者。搜不到飞机，即使他们是国家高层官员也无法给于大家一个满意的答案。就好像，你问医院的医生 病人今天的urine output是多少一样。医生绝对回答不了你。
飞机那么大，也找不到? 对不起，飞机看起来是不小，可是你永远不晓得一个宇宙到底有多大?有多少个太阳系?
可见人类之渺小。
宇宙放一边不说，就讲地球好了。一架飞机动用了不少人力资源 船舰 飞机， 客机的行踪都依然是个谜。只要能够寻找到客机的下落，用什么方法都一样。为什么要恶言批评有心想帮忙的人呢? 除了会坐在电脑前 或捧着手机讥笑别人的人那么厉害 为什么就不去帮忙呢?至少人家肯去丢脸。你可以不喜欢 你或许觉得丢脸，可是有些超自然现象就是连科学也无法解释。
别人在那头忙得焦头烂额，有些人无法给予帮忙却还在另一头做些恶意评论。这些时候不是最需要支持吗?
为什么就不能撇开政治呢?为什么要把事情政治化呢?这样在别人面前批评自己国家有比较威风吗?
举个例子 尽管在家与父母闹得不和 一旦出到外面嘴巴依然是緊閉。有什么不满回家再理论好了。在外公然指责自己的父母只会让人觉得自己很没教养，甚至让有心人乘虚而入，让别人指着你父母的鼻子大骂，你会好受吗?如果你无所谓，请你下次轮回不要做人了。
不是要帮'他们'说好话，只是觉得不要把救人的焦点给模糊掉。在别人面前自家人打自家人不是件光彩的事。没有必要把家丑告诉全世界。这只会给人看笑话。自己人不帮自己人，期望别人帮你吗?
忙着起内讧，有时间团结吗???
做人要中庸。态度造就一切。

记事

马航MH307 客机毫不客气的在没有预警的情况下消失了。
3月8号，在大家的睡梦中忘了道声再见就走了。
一则震撼全世界的消息。一个让人担忧意外。

飞机坠毁?在哪里坠毁?
坠海?高空坠下 冲力那么大，是坠得有多深呢?
甚至是不是飞机失事都还不能确定。
谩骂声四起。这责任到底归谁?

还是骑劫?盗用别人护照的那两人究竟是谁?
恐怖份子?是他们故意让飞机与明航局失联，转了飞行方向?停泊在某个深山处?
或者飞机机件出问题 直接空中解体化为灰烬，让一切归与这尘土?生不带来 死不带走。

难道误入时空隧道? 是去了未来还是回去了以前?
回去以前改变历史?到未来参观惨不忍睹的地球表面?
还是进入了异度空间?发生了绝对的时差?十年以候再飞回出来?

一切的揣测只有在找到了飞机才能确定。
在不正当的时间推卸责任 告诉了大家你的无知。
不能献出一份力 就祈祷一切平安
相信上天的慈悲之心，活佛师尊对大家的怜爱。
还有明明上帝，弥勒祖师，南海古佛，月慧菩萨，五教圣人，师尊师母。。。
求，
南无观世音菩萨 大慈大悲 无磨无拷 免劫平安。

Irene。香港人

从来就没有人可以像irene 一样，即使认识不到半年，却让人十分不舍。
她，很好的senior,朋友。和蔼可亲，很多很多。。。。
没办法去机场送她，是个遗憾。
我的假期不在只是回家那么简单，sydney将会是我的下一个目标。
对Irene的那种不舍，湿了我的眼眶。。。

留

一个回不到的过去，回忆。
一段逝去的美好，哀悼。
一场精彩的比赛，
一个不可思议的梦，
换来了短暂的友谊。
一切依然美好，
美好的忆;
只能留在彼此的心底。。。

朋友。屁

无声无息，悄悄地，把你放走了。
把那种属于你的味道，带到空气中，
真抱歉啊，朋友，把你像屁一样排了出来。
毕竟，这种废气总不能留在我肚子里一辈子吧！
陆陆续续吃进的食物都迫不及待地制造独属他们的屁味。
留点空间给别人发挥他们独特的味道吧！

笛子 outing 2014

 Yesterday a memorable day for me.An outing that planned for almost half year finally succeeded make it at bukit batok NS home team for 2 days 1 night. It really fun. At 1st i was so scare to get know all the alumnus and seniors. But they are friendly enough make me feel so comfortable to stay and play together with them.
 Koen Chong ,he give me the feeling he is just like the father for our dizi family. It's almost 3 at the midnight.we are still having the bbq food and some junk food enjoying ourself very well in the living room and watching the movie ,drink all kind of alcohols. Dont even feel like moving our butt,but Koen just clean everthing at the bbq pitts and all the rubbish on the floor,table and everywhr. Kamshahamida for cleaning for us.
 Another nice person is Teoh KC国川. He is alumni but he is same age as me.He act as the big broher in the family. He is really really nice.And ya,he is from malaysia perak. He try very hard to talk to us and make us laugh. I am so sorry to him as last time practise dizi I bring lots of trouble to him.
 Teck Han,for him ,erm...he dint talk to us and i am not talking to him.What i know about him is just he is a marathon lover.But what nice about him is he use his handphone Hotspot for us to use as free wifi. ok, thats it.End story of him.
 He Qiang,talk very loudly.He just do whatever he like to do. I also dont feel like want to communicate with him.so,end story too.
  Joanne,I think she is He Qiang's girl friend. A 4 years dizi alumni. She dint stay overnight,so dont have chance to play with her. But she is nice person too.
 Irene Choi, from hong kong.She really nice.she play like a ki siao with us.Sleep with me pei wen and yanan on the floor.She going to futher her study in australia,wish her一路顺风。
 Then still have both of our SL,jinli and jiaxin.

still can rmb,tat night,4 single beds with 10 girls and 4 boys. Then the male help themself on sofa and girls on bed.but beds confirm is not enough.so what i can do is i sit on floor coz i oso dont feel like sleeping.The Pei Wen and Irene join me and Yanan to sit on the floor too.Then v try to go down stairs to sit in the living room lo.Who noes ,Teck Han and Koen who sleep in the living room locked the door aldy!!! no choice, 4 of us just sit outside at bbq pitts thr and 喂蚊子！finally oso cannot tahan and go back to room. Can see the He Qiang and KC sleep so comfortablely on the sofa!                                                                                                  
                                           

 Then the next morning,all the males went to swim and girls stay  and play cards and eat. The clean living room that juz cleaned by Koen ytd,dirtied by us in 5 mins...hohoho..all the potatos chips ,plastic bags, plastics bowl,forks and spoon all over the floor.
 Before check out,Koen done the cleaning again.and others just sit on the sofa watching TV.

This is Teoh KC- the sleeping guy

This outing is really fun.Hope next time can have another outing like this.

   one of the grp photo that i love the most

Jia xin is trying to ask Koen to block the cool air from air cond for her